Time of MY life

I have been spending a lot of time lately reflecting, or brooding rather, on the fact that in one short week, I will be the ripe 'old' age of 32. Yep, I said it, 32. Turning 30 didn't really hit me...after all, it didn't really feel that different than 29...and didn't sound that much older, in fact, when I turned 30, I thought, YES...life is really beginning...this will be MY decade. My decade for what, you ask. Well, to launch that career, buy our first house, start a family, earn my master's degree, volunteer more, be a better daughter, wife, sister, friend.

Here I am almost two full years into this new decade and I feel that I am far from accomplishing any of this list of the decade of thirty. I have always been a very driven, goal-oriented individual. My mom used to joke to others to stay out of my way when I was on a mission or I might bowl you over...funny, but, in a way true. I find myself often channeling my focus to the future. I almost obsess about it. My days encompass thinking about that next city, job, apartment, lunch, dinner, workout. I often look at my husband, Jason, in frustration and awe. He has an uncanny ability to 'live in the moment'. It seems, at times, there is nothing more on his mind than the enjoyment of the bite of cereal he just put in his mouth. I don't mean to present this in a belittling manner. I truly admire this characteristic about him. He is so able to enjoy the moments of each day instead of thinking about the 'to do' list of tomorrow, next week, next month, next year.

The world we live in requires a wicked pace to keep up. I find myself gasping and exhausted in the continual quest for tomorrow. I would love to allow myself the joy of experiencing that first taste of coffee in the morning, the blast of hot water in the shower, the snuggle of our dog Delaney, my husband's kiss farewell...but, I find myself thinking about what lies ahead for me. This year I will give myself the gift of time...to focus on the moments of today while continuing to dream of tomorrow.

Hopelessly devoted

"What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labour, to minister to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness, to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?" - George Eliot

Today marks what would have been my grandparent's 62nd wedding anniversary. I say what would have been as we lost my grandpa in early October this past year. Sixty-two years...spending that number of years with one person is unimaginable to me. Sixty-two years, that's twice my age, two lifetimes of me...together, with one person, a friend, a confidante, a partner, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold.

Sixty-two years of hopelessly being devoted to one person, one life, one dream for a lifetime of happiness, hopes, and memories. Until I met my husband, I could never have comprehended being so utterly devoted to a singular person. Before him, I was an independent, driven, wandering woman. Adventure was at my fingertips...jetting off to the East Coast for a weekend, a girls trip to the city, a late night out on the town. Every new day was invigorating and exciting...a new journey into the unknown.

Now, life consists of grocery lists, gas bills, car payments, and responsible saving...for that house, one day. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being married. I LOVE going to bed and waking up next to my best friend. I LOVE that we make the bed together each morning, knowing that small sacrifice of each of our time will save a 'discussion' later that night. I LOVE that he knows my favorite flowers are Calla Lilies, my favorite color is yellow, that my fingers and toes go numb when it's below 40 degrees outside, that I'll pick Neapolitan Ice Cream over a premium flavor, any day. That I dream we'll have the chance to live abroad one day, that I hope to be able to pursue my passion with the energy and fulfillment that he infuses into his profession each and every day.

Most of all, I love that even though life has given us what have seemed like insurmountable challenges, unbelievable opportunities, and unforgettable adventures, we remain hopelessly devoted to one another, each and every minute, every hour, every day. For anyone who is or has been married, you know this is no small feat. We live in a world that now measures commitment in seconds and hours instead of days, months...years. Where relationships are deemed 'official' when listed on your social networking site, where we can change our beliefs with a simple 'tweet'. That is why, this weekend, as I remember my grandfather on this sixty-second wedding anniversary, I will remember the love, support, and commitment that he and my grandmother shared. Their marriage was an inspiration, a testament of selfless devotion with your one, true love.