New Shoes

It had been one of those days. It seemed nothing could go right. I left early to get to work 'on time'. I dropped my lunch bag while trying to put it into the car. I nearly slipped on my walk from the parking garage to the office, 5 bags in tow. All to find out I hadn't arrived early enough, I sent the wrong email, I forgot to follow up on a phone call. One of THOSE days...

A perfect day, I thought, to try out that new pair of running shoes that had been beckoning to me from my bedroom floor for over a week. A week, you say! Who buys new shoes and doesn't wear them for a week? I do. A new article of clothing, a new pair of earrings, new perfume, and most importantly new running shoes must wait to make their debut until that perfect moment, the ultimate introduction to my crazy life.

I started running almost 16 years ago out of curiosity, boredom, to get healthy...lose weight. What can I say, it stuck. I have run through rainstorms, snow storms, heat, humidity, and sub-zero temperatures. I have discovered hidden pathways, new cities, foreign lands, unchartered territories. I have run on graduation days, wedding days, birthdays, honeymoons. I have run through bad news, stress, disappointment, happiness, sadness, joy, sorrow, triumph, and defeat. Running is my addiction, my meditation, my time for me.

New shoes have long been a symbol of new beginnings for me. You see, my running shoes and I, we have a relationship. We know things about each other no one else could know. Each new purchase symbolizes a fresh start, a new chapter, another friendship to develop.

I took my new shoes for a 'spin' tonight. I told them all about my day, the, highs, the lows, my hopes, my dreams. And you know what, they listened. Step by step, mile by mile. I think this is the beginning of another unforgettable relationship in the race of life.


The Race
"Quit, give up, you're beaten"
They shout at you and plead
"There's just too much against you
This time you can't succeed".

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failures face
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene
Or just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being

Childrens race, young boys
Young men, how I remember well
Excitement sure, but also fear
It wasn't hard to tell

They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that
At least take second place

The fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he could be the one

The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boys desire

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought
"My dad will be so proud"

But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped

Trying hard to catch himself
With hands flew out to brace
And amid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said
"Get up and win the race"

He quickly rose, no damage done
Behind a bit that's all
And ran with all his night and mind
To make up for the fall

So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again

He wised then that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now
I shouldn't try to race"

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his fathers face
That steady look which said again
"Get up and win the race"

So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last
If I'm going to gain those yards he thought
I've got to move real fast

Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again

Defeat, he lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
There's no sense running anymore
Three strikes, I'm out, why try?

The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
So far behind so error prone
A loser all the way

"I've lost, so what", he thought
I'll live with my disgrace
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he'd have to face

"Get up" the echo sounded low
"Get up" and take your place
You were not meant for failure here
"Get up", and win the race

With borrowed will "Get up" it said
"You haven't lost at all"
For winning is no more than this
To rise each time you fall

So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved, that win or lose
At least he shouldn't quit

So far behind the others now
The most he'd ever been
Still he'd give it all he had
And run as though to win

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling
Three times he'd rose again
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace

But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race

And even though he came in last
With head bent low, unproud
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd

And to his dad he sadly said
"I didn't do too well"
"To me you won", his father said
"You rose each time you fell"

by D. H. Groberg

Have Patience

As a child, I would sit for hours many times listening to a record called "The Music Machine"...a record filled with songs about important life lessons. One of my favorite songs, sung by none other than Herbert the Snail, was "Have Patience". As I listen to this song again while writing this post, I am reminded that patience is unfortunately a skill I have not yet perfected.

Two years ago my husband, Jason, our dog Delaney, and I loaded up all of our belongings in a U-Haul and began the 20-hour trek from Massachusetts back to Iowa...our eternal safe zone. Moving across country is something that Jason and I have become quite good at. Over the last 8 years together we have lived in Iowa, California, Illinois, Texas, Arizona, and Massachusetts. One might think we work in the Armed Forces or that perhaps we are running from the law. Alas, neither is true:) We have been running the last several years...to find ourselves...to find one another...to find that 'perfect' job, location, environment that we could spend the rest of our lives...or at least more than two years at a time.

Our East Coast adventure had been one of challenges, opportunities, experiences and adventures. The adventure came abruptly to a halt in late June 2008. On a beautiful, clear Friday summer afternoon, I had just returned from one of my favorite running locales to a phone call from Jason...he had just lost his job. I felt like I had taken a massive blow to the stomach, I couldn't breathe. I tried to remain calm as Jason filled me in with the details and I waited patiently for him to arrive home safely. I had no idea what we would do...how were we going to pay rent, buy groceries, put gas in our cars. I was literally scared...to death. And so the running began, again.

According to experts, among a variety of life-altering events, such as death in the family, divorce, and serious illness, losing your job ranks among the highest in stress-causing situations. Unfortunately, we can both attest to this statement with first-hand knowledge. The last two years have been the most challenging, stressful, emotionally, physically and psychologically exhausting of my 31 years of life. There were days that I didn't want to get out of bed, that I could do nothing but blame Jason for our situation, for requiring us once more, to come back to our safety zone. It has taken much strength, patience, and adversity but we have seen this challenge through. We have learned much about each other in the process and have a new found respect for those that face such challenges with much more to overcome. In retrospect, I truly do believe everything happens for a reason. I have yet to fully discern what that is...but...that's part of the journey right?

To new beginnings...

I have always been slow to jump on the 'in' bandwagon. A great friend recently introduced me to her blog "Thighs and Offerings", I was intrigued by her poetic writing, her thoughtful prose, her humor and inspiration...I began to think, I could do that. The more I pondered the idea, the more life continued to take hold, the more I realized, I need to do this, for me, for anyone out there living life, trying to find their way.

I have been a daughter for over 30 years, a sister for almost 30, a wife for almost five, a runner for many, a traveler for as long as I can remember. Each day we choose numerous words and phrases to define ourselves and what we do. It is through these words that we pave the pathway of life.

You may be wondering, why the title "Cause and Affect"? Over the last few years life has provided many challenges and opportunities...one ending and another beginning. It's sometimes hard not to wonder, what if I would have chosen differently? A different college, a different job, a different destination...but with each decision we have the opportunity to choose, to select our path and to affect our lives. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a runner, a philanthropist, a traveler...but most of all, I am ME!

And so my journey begins...