Finding my way

"There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream." ~Author Unknown

My family and I recently returned from a much needed vacation to San Diego. It was not only a vacation but a time of discovery, reflection, and most of all, a time to make life-long memories. Jason and I had the great opportunity to live in San Diego not once, but twice. A long, but very unintersting story...two of our many moves across the country. I LOVE San Diego, I mean I LOVEEEEEEEEE San Diego!!!!! The beaches, the sun, the neverending outdoor activities...the food (fish tacos - yum), the eccentric people (dare I mention the thong-wearing rollerblader), the laidback tempo, but most of all, I LOVE me there. There is something magical about that place. Maybe its the carefree memories of a life that seems so far away, maybe its seeing the sun and feeling it's rays on my Iowa-winter-pale skin. Whatever it is, I want to capture that feeling, bottle it up and take it with me EVERYWHERE!

This trip was something I knew I needed but I didn't really realize why until we were sitting at the airport, Starbucks in hand, waiting to make the long journey back home. I have spent the last 8-plus years trying to figure out how to match my life dreams with that of my husband. How to mesh our hopes, wants, desires into a life that would be remarkable, memorable, and successful. I've never longed for a big house, fancy car, or mega-bucks job, but I have wished, hoped, and dreamed of having stability, security, and happiness. Sometimes I feel like this must be wishing for too much as I have yet to capture this fantasy life.

Part of our vacation was spent participating in the San Diego Dodge Rock 'n' Roll Half (Jason and I) and Full (my brother) Marathon.

I had forgotten how much I love participating in running races. From the Expo, to the starting line, to each magical and sometimes brutal step forward to the finish and receipt of my crown jewel (medal), there is little in life that I find more fulfilling than pushing myself in such a physical, mental, and emotional way to achieve something that very few have the courage to try. Watching the thousands of people before me and the thousands (okay, maybe hundreds) behind me, reminded me that although I didn't know a single soul (beyond my husband and brother) in this crowd, we were all working towards the same goal...to finish something we had trained for months to complete, to achieve a goal we had set before ourselves...as I overhead the race announcer say as they released corral by corral, "it doesn't matter where you finish, the medal's the same".

You might say, so what does this experience have to do with me "finding my way". Everything! This race was a not so silent reminder that regardless of the number of miles I may have to run in pursuit of my dream, each step brings me one breath, one drop of sweat, one heartbeat closer to my fantasy life.